somewhere somehow somewhy

somehow i will know when you are no longer,
the breeze will cease singing your name to me,
or the birds will begin singing new songs,
songs that do not include your wondrous exploits,
or the morning and the evening will come and go
without a glance to spare at my waiting expectations,
or the stars will cease winking at me with a knowing smile,
sharing a secret of words unsaid,
or i shall look, and i shall not find you anymore —
not in my things, not in my thoughts, not in the threshholds of my tears…
somehow i shall know when you are no longer

somewhere you shall be when that time comes,
somewhere far where i cannot follow,
somewhere where there is no tomorrow,
you shall be there, and i shall not,
and i will not know whether you are happy
or you are sad,
but somewhere you shall be where i can allow you the distance,
and you shall no longer resent my presence
during the times when you wanted most to be alone,
and you shall no more feel the weight of the expectations
i have unceremoniously placed upon your shoulders,
and you shall no further wake to dread
my smile, or my frown, or my extended hand,
and i likewise shall no longer need
to know where that somewhere you are now is…
somewhere you shall be when that time comes.

somewhy, it will not matter anymore that day,
perhaps because the rain continues to fall equally
to wash both pure lily and filthy mound,
or maybe perhaps because the river always flows,
seemingly unmoving yet ever new,
winding and winding and never wondering…
or maybe i am just trying to come up with reasons
to make me believe that there is such a somewhy
for the absence of this something
from this someone
that somehow is now somewhere else
but here…
somewhy, it will not matter anymore that day .

but i know this,
that somehow, when you have found your somewhere else,
i shall find likewise the somewhy to tell somebody else
who shall come asking why you are gone…
and why i allowed it.

One thought on “somewhere somehow somewhy

  1. …i was just wondering,Sir. is there any particular reason you published all these poems on the same date..March 8,2007
    or maybe it just happens to be uhmm? birthday nyo po ba? hehe kasi birthday ko po yn!hihi(^-^)anyway,i guess these are poems you wrote way back in your youth? is it?

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