calamitous

looking like raindrops oiled,
my future,
blackened by soot, blackened by pollution,
i see,
with eyes soiled
by mind putrid with synapses twisted,
innocence avenued to dark interpretations,
and hands obey,
shattering friendships,
staining lives,
bringing me where i am now,
here, where i am,
having stained lives,
having shattered friendships,
i have obeyed hands
that turned innocence into shadowed alibis,
twisted synapses of a putrid mind,
soiling my eyes,
and all i see,
are polluted, black, and sooted…
and all that my future is,
is raindrops oiled.

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